Sunday, August 7, 2011

An interesting history

We have had an interesting swing history with couples, and by interesting history I mean really shitty luck. It seems so simple, everyone has a partner and we all have fun. If only it were that easy!!!!!!!!!!! Oy, the details that goes into a simple meet and greet, it takes a lot of effort to give away your spouse! Which means, that when you finally get there and it doesn't work out it can be frustrating. But, chances are it's going to happen at some point.

I am no genius but I'm going to say that it is statistically impossible for you to hit it off with every couple that you ever meet. I mean let's face it - there are four people involved here that have to not only like their play partner but also not be hating on their spouse. I'm not picky, if The Hubs wants to bang down the wife but I don't particularly like her I'm ok as long as I don't want to a) vomit at the sight of her or b) want to stab my eye out when I hear her voice. I wouldn't say I'm asking too much but at the same time I realize that not everyone can hit it off. Which is why when it doesn't work out I do my best not to take it personally. I get it, I'm not every one's cup of tea. But the couple we met the other night clearly has not caught on to this concept yet.

The Jokesters were pleasant enough over instant messenger. I told The Hubs I could tell before we went that The JokeWife was not going to be my BFF, I was correct - oh was I correct... The meeting started off ok enough, the plan was drinks and dinner. The Hubs and I arrived early (by accident) and got a drink at the bar of the restaurant. When the couple arrived they declared that they didn't drink. Ok... I thought, why go for drinks and dinner if you don't drink - interesting. Oh well, the table was ready soon and we headed off to have dinner.

As we sat down the hostess told us that our servers names would be ________ and _______ (you think I remember?) indicating that there would be two servers helping us. The JokeWife didn't like that and immediately started complaining. When the server arrived she started in on him, and I took another sip of my drink. I had pretty much decided that I wasn't attracted to the husband already but I give every one's personality a chance to compensate for their outer appearance. Throughout dinner The Jokesters kept us laughing as they were both genuinely funny. However, the complaining never stopped. This part of the dinner was bad, wrong, over done, under done, not brought out quickly enough. She even tried to get me to complain about my dinner but I had no issue and told her so. I tried to take pity on our server by being extra friendly, I'm sure he thought I was hitting on him.

When the checks were signed (I tipped generously) we made our way to the door. We said our goodbyes and made our departure. We hadn't been in the car more than 15 minutes when The JokeWife started complaining about how we didn't go back to their house after dinner. Now, first of all there was no invitation extended, so I guess we were supposed to invite ourselves. Then, secondly we had made it very clear that the night was a meet and greet only. I was on the disabled list and we would not be playing that night. Apparently they thought they would convince us of otherwise.

The instant messages were aimed at me because she knew that The Hubs was driving, and as soon as he started responding (indicating he was home) she switched to complaining to him. This was the point when The Hubs told me no matter how much I hate being the rejecter unless I was going to want to bang this guy despite my unattractedness I was going to have to be honest and tell him. So I did, in the nicest possible way I told him that while I had a good dinner and it was nice to meet them I just didn't think we would be a good match. He seemed to take it OK, made a nice reply and then never said anything again.

Oh, but that's not the end of it... The JokeWife continues to im The Hubs and flat out bitch that I don't find her husband attractive. She claims that they have never experienced this side of rejection. A) Not a chance you've never experienced rejection and have been in the lifestyle for this long. and B) I'm SORRY, but there is nothing I can do to convince myself that I'd like to fuck your husband. It happens, but I'm not going to change my mind based on the temper tantrum you are pulling out because you wanted to fuck The Hubs and I vetoed you as a couple. It only makes me regret it even less!!

Finding a couple seems to be increasingly frustrating and hard. We have another couple on the horizon who we are afraid may be too good to be true, so we are holding out hope for them even though they are on a long range time frame as that hubby is in the military and currently deployed.

We just want a "normal" couple. We live with very little drama in our lives, and when there is drama we eradicate it A.S.A.P. and this means in our swing life as well. We want someone we can hang out with and then have sex when we all feel like being naughty. A couple who is mellow and still enjoys their own partner and recognizes that this friendship is just that - a friendship between two couples who enjoy getting dirty!

Are we the unicorns, are there really no "normal" couples out there anymore??

As for me, I'm in instant messenger hiding. I'm done catching the complaints!!! :)

The Wife

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