Friday, September 23, 2011

Open Positions


The Hubs and I are currently accepting applications for positions as The Unicorn (single female) and The Boytoy (single male). Problem is, both searches are annoying and frustrating in their own distinct ways...

The Unicorn search is lonely. We'll shift through the few profiles and then try our best to remember who we have already chatted with. Then we'll send out the initial "feeler" email. And then you wait.

And wait...

So you go to the instant messenger to look for anyone to offer your Husband's sexual skills to. But there you find a random slew of non matches or people who aren't at their computer on.

In it all you may come away with a handful (if you are rock star lucky) of potential playmates to begin chatting with.

Starting to understand why we felt somewhat sad for ourselves when we lost The Old Unicorn. We were so happy that she was starting a relationship but damn, we were back to the drawing board! Boooooo!

Then there is the search for The Boytoy. This one isn't lonely it's crowded... Too crowded. It's like searching for a needle among a pile of needles. In there somewhere has to be just one "normal" dude right?

So I sift through the countless cock pics and bad profile descriptions. Try to find one who seems like he will be cool, no drama and isn't going to be pushy. We'll send emails to guys even if they are clearly out of my league. And, if we're rock star lucky we'll end up with a few handfuls of potential chatters.

The Boytoy applicants tend to shoot themselves in the foot pretty quickly, so it's a numbers game. Most want to fuck right then. That works for some people and I'm not saying we have never done that but most of the time that doesn't work for us.

Then there is The Fakes, The "Married" Men, The Too Young, Too Old, The Weirdos, The Freaks and The Morons. And please don't tell anyone that I work from home, or they start in on the "nooner" requests.

Sounds fun right?

Yet, I'm not ready to give up playtime so I guess it's time to just suck it up and start looking...

Oy, wish me luck!

The Wife

2 comments:

  1. If single women are unicorns (and they are are), then single guys are squirrels. There are so many of them and some are nuts....

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