Saturday, October 15, 2011

100 Facts About The Wife

I saw this on a friend's blog and wondered if I could do it and maintain my mysteriousness... So here goes nothing...

These are all 100% factual about me, and I tried to put them in some random sort of order.

1. I am the youngest child
2. The Hubs and I met when I was 16
3. I was the first child in my family to get married
4. I took the longest out of my entire family to graduate college.
5. I have bungee jumped
6. I was in the band in high school
7. I am a mother
8. We have had 3 dogs in our marriage, all have had "B" names (by coincidence!)
9. I've lived in the same city my entire life
10. I smoke weed
11. I love to fuck
12. As of 2012 I will have known The Hubs for longer than I lived without knowing him
13. I was very religious as a teenager
14. Before meeting The Hubs I was determined to stay a virgin until I got married
15. We dated 6 weeks before I gave in and we banged
16. My guilty pleasure is celebrity gossip
17. I only had 2 boyfriends before meeting The Hubs
18. We have been married 11 years
19. If my Mother were reading this she would have figured me out by #2
20. I am lucky to be married to Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, aka SwingerHubinFL & The Hubs
21. I can touch my nose with my tongue
22. I was a bank teller for many years, using my time to flirt with the customers
23. I lust after my best friend's husband
24. I would like to to think "loyal" would be one of the words used to describe me, which I find ironic coming from a swinger
25. The Hubs was my one and only sexual partner until we got back into the swing of things after our swing break.
26. I only wear thongs or g-string underwear
27. My hair has been blond, brown, red and black. Sometimes more than one at a time :)
28. Every "I'll never" I've ever said to The Hubs I've ended up eventually trying at least once.
29. It took me 8 years to get a BA and now I don't use it.
30. I have flashed my boobs for beads on Bourbon Street in New Orleans.
31. I work from my home for a large national company
32. I'm addicted to Starbucks
33. I don't drink any coffee except one drink from Starbucks
34. I used to smoke cigarettes on the down low
35. I wasn't allowed to watch Three's Company or The Golden Girls as a kid - oh, or The A-Team.
36. I'm an amatur photographer, but I do everything by sight and feel and I know nothing of aperture and lenses.
37. I make some money off of my photography, but if I won the lottery I would do it full time in a blink of an eye.
38. I am a worrier, and it sits on me sometimes.
39. I believe that when women are pregnant their brains are rewired to be able to think 3 steps ahead of everyone at all times.
40. I'm constantly multitasking.
41. Last year I made The Hubs a photo book of me in sexy lingerie. I set up a tripod and ran in - which is hard to do in heels, thigh highs & a garter!!!
42. The compliment I hear most often from my face picture is about my smile.
43. I'm never sure if that's code for something else? lol
44. My facebook account is completely vanilla, my twitter is completely non-vanilla.
45. I refuse to open a vanilla twitter account because I'm terrified I'll mistake the two and spill the beans to the world.
46. I am very nosey. Even if I'm not asking the question I'm wondering about it...
47. My outer appearance gives the impression that I am a goodie-two-shoes suburban soccer mom
48. Part of the turn on for me is the two sided nature of being a swinger and a soccer mom.
49. I am a huge flirt in my vanilla life
50. We have one friend who knows about us, and when he gets drunk he texts me. It won't ever happen, but I'd do it! lol
51. I listen to all kinds of music
52. I am a push-the-button-and-see-what-happens kind of girl
53. I only enjoy rough play with The Hubs because I know he would never really hurt me. Whereas I talked to a woman once who said she couldn't do it with her husband because she knew he would never hurt her. lol
54. My back is highly erogenous for me
55. I have a wish list on Amazon, but I'm too embarrassed to ever say anything about it
56. I went through a country phase - boots & all...
57. I played tennis when I was a kid, not very well but I still did it! lol
58. I have offered (to their faces) to be the judge of who has the bigger cock contest between two of our friends. So far they both puss out :(
59. The Hubs and I have had sex in just about every place you can imagine, including multiple times in a church parking lot that was close to my parents' house.
60. When we got engaged I was 18 and he was 20.
61. If I tried to explain my job to you I would lose you in about 30 seconds.
62. I've never done any drugs besides weed and
63. I didn't start smoking weed until I was 24 years old.
64. I once "rescued" a kid from a swimming pool. He fell in while we were drying off and before anyone else noticed I jumped in and got him back out. I think I was like 9 years old, and he was 1. To a 9 year old I had saved his life and the world! lol
65. I got my first job when I was 17 and I've worked ever since. I'm not sure why I was so eager to start working but I don't get to take a break now!
66. I'm unbelievably sentimental
67. I believe in buying local and supporting your community
68. I'm a couponer, not a crazy one like on tv, but I'm cheap so it's right up my ally
69. I am 5'8" but I love heels, so I'm usually taller
70. I once dated a guy that was shorter than me and I never got used to it.
71. I'm very sarcastic
72. I want a boob job. Nothing insane, just generously proportionate to my body :)
73. I do not have any tattoos or piercing (except ears) but
74. I have thought about getting one or both of them.
75. I have blue and green eyes
76. My reading interest comes in waves. I go through times when I'm reading constantly and others when it takes me months to get through a book.
77. 10 years ago I was wearing hose and heels everyday to work in a business suit. Today I wear my pajamas or underwear. Upgrade!
78. I do my very best not to shop at Wal-Mart. I think they are a horrible company and in general their stores are disgusting.
79. Our official political affiliation is opposite each other, but The Hubs and I are both very middle of the road.
80. Right now I'm wondering how many of you are still reading this?
81. I don't drink beer because I find it disgusting. I like a variety of the girly drinks or I'll drink a hard cider. Look it up...
82. My favorite is Magners, which I always laugh when people think I'm talking about Magnum condoms! hahaha
83. I am a chocoholic. Dark chocolate, please and in almost any form.
84. The Hubs and I have been to Las Vegas together 3 times in the last 4 1/2 years with another trip planned in a few months
85. We own season tickets to football program that neither The Hubs nor I went to the college.
86. This is my favorite sex toy
87. Sometimes I feel guilty about how much time our lifestyle takes away from me being Mommy
88. I lost my virginity to The Hubs and then drove myself to pick up my high school class ring
89. I fucked my high school crush in a MFM setting a few months ago :)
90. I have let The Hubs play alone a few times, but I don't feel ready to play alone myself - despite having his permission. Strange, I know...
91. My first car's driver's door didn't open. You had to climb out of the passenger side, I was super cool though.
92. I've travelled outside of the country only one time and it wasn't that great because of the people I was with... would love to go back and do it right.
93. I use the word "Fuck" a lot. I have to really pay attention when little ears are present.
94. I don't like talking on the phone, I prefer to text
95. There are certain fashion trends that I don't think I'm cute enough to pull off
96. I am VERY loud in bed. I try to tone it down, but usually I can't help myself.
97. I can squirt, but as of now only The Hubs has been able to get me to that point.
98. I don't consider myself bi-sexual or bi-curious. I'm straight, but to me that means light play, touch, kiss but no oral.
99. I have had alcohol poisoning and probably should have gone to the hospital. 12 years later and I still can't even smell the drink without getting sick.
100. It took me 3 days to think of these facts, and I'm very curious what number is your favorite!

The Wife

19 comments:

  1. We love Vegas too--when is your next trip? Mrs. CR8IVCPL and I are heading to Sin City in early January.

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  2. Too bad our paths won't cross in Vegas!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That was fun to read, thanks for taking the time to write all of those down!

    BTW I finally got around to adding you to my blogroll

    ReplyDelete
  4. My fav was #80! lol. Thanks for your list.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The ones I like more right now:
    -- lusting after your friend's husband
    -- willing to do that drunk texter friend of yours
    -- banging your crush in MFM
    -- huge flirt in vanilla life
    -- two sided nature of goodie two shoes and swinger

    (Yes, I am the biggest, horniest, hardest pervert who appears completely innocent in real life)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Loved the list. Not sure which are my favorite ones. Reading this makes me so intriqued about you. Would be interesting to meet. Your hubs is a lucky man. It would be an honor if you and hubs would allow me to share in your adventures.

    @Tony_in_Tampa

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  9. Nice interesting list, I'd say #96 but it was a hard choice.

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