You know that phrase about what happens when you assume something? Let me tell you, when you're making assumptions about a swinger marriage it is no different.
One of the red flags when I was talking to The Newbie Hub was his assumptions about my marriage. He was brand new to the lifestyle so I give him some slack for being completely clueless. Instead I took his assumptions were more a window into his marriage and his life and began to set off alarms in my head. So here are my thoughts on my favorite of his idiotic assumptions.
Assumption: I/We need swinging to fill some void we are feeling in our marriage/sex life.
Reality: Couldn't be farther from the truth. My particular brand of weird means I get sexually excited being a slut in front of my husband. Doesn't mean The Hubs isn't fulfilling all of my needs, or me his. Makes me think The Hubs and I joking about how your 30-something wife needs more than your almost 50 year old cock can give her wasn't too far from your truth.
Assumption: The Hubs and I don't have sex unless we are playing. No shit. He asked me if we had played with anyone since we had met them the first time. I said no, that we hadn't played with anyone in a while. His response was something to the effect of that I had built-up sexual energy to unleash on him due to my lack of opportunity.
Reality: Seriously? If you think I'm not fucking The Hubs as well as our play then you're just stupid. In my personal opinion, if you're not having regular sex with your spouse you shouldn't be in the lifestyle to begin with.
Assumption: The Hubs would go to extraordinary lengths to attain the ability to fuck any pussy other than mine. "He'd probably drive three states away for some pussy"
Reality: Sigh... oh how naive and stupid you are. While The Hubs has his own reasons for enjoying swinging, he is not in anyway starved for pussy. Nor is he so incredibly bored with what he has at home that he would move heaven and earth for a little bit of strange. I mean really?
I'm just asking that you think before you speak. If any of the above describes you, please don't email me. If it sounds like things you think about me, The Hubs and our marriage or swingers as a whole, oh please oh please, lose my email address!
The Wife
People are stupid, making any kind of assumptions about us swinger types!
ReplyDeleteWe all are enslaved by our beliefs/assumptions. I try to look at them as my own hypothetical possibilities and try to verify them with questions. I wouldn't say that they're just plain stupid, we're (too) often just human and we can judge (or assume) based on our own experience.
ReplyDeleteWe're all different human beings, and we all tick differently. In some of my relationships swinging was the way to go to rekindle our lust, yet in some other we did it only when we needed more. What works in one relationship, doesn't have to work at all in another.
Wow. Just...wow. That guy went beyond the realm of newbie faux pas into flat-assed rude. Just because you're talking to someone in a fairly open sexual lifestyle doesn't give you carte blanche to be a dick.
ReplyDeletehahahah... You def said the truth... Loved this post...
ReplyDeleteI'm a fan of your blog.. Love your takes on the swinger world..
We are also swingers around your age..